Typewriters.
Writing.
Words.
Couldn’t be more appropriate, I thought, for I’ve spent my
week going over galley proofs of my latest novel – pages and pages of type, of
writing, of words: Copyright page, title page, dedication; table of contents,
running heads, pagination; acknowledgements, notes on sources; chapter heads,
introductory quotes…
…two hundred
fifty-eight pages…
…seventy thousand, nine hundred
fifty-seven words.
Four years.
I used to think that writing a novel is an act of faith.
I mean, you start at what you think
is the beginning, and you go until you reach the end.
You start with a town, say, a particular stretch of roadway,
the river that runs near it. You start with a house that you own and love; you
start with a deed that helps you go back to the people who first lived there
nearly two hundred years ago – the people who built your house.
You learn their first names, their
middle initials.
You find the years of their births
and marriages, the names of their children, the years of their deaths; you go
to probate court and read their wills, their legal papers; you hold documents
they have held, you see their handwriting.
You read the
public remnants of their lives.
You walk in their barns with the memories of their horses
and cows, their sheep, their oxen and swine; you find the old foundations of
their sheds and cribs, their chicken coops.
You smell their lilacs in spring,
you watch their apple blossoms fall.
You stand on their front porch in
moonlight.
At night you cook dinner in their kitchen
and read the newspaper in their front room; you climb their stairs to their
bedrooms and dream of broad fields and woodlots, orchards and old stone walls.
After a while, you realize you have a sense of them, and
that they are still here. You are living in their house; you begin to
understand that you owe them something for this gift they have given you.
And that’s when
you realize that you were wrong – that writing a novel is not an act of faith;
it is, rather, an act of integrity.
You start over, and you write a novel for them – it’s the
best you can do.